The #1 Emotion That Wastes Your Time

Mar 22, 2019

4 minutes

If you’re reading this you’re probably human – it’s a blessing and a curse, isn’t it?

Our brains are capable of some of the most advanced calculations fathomable, yet it’s also sidetracked by chemical imbalances caused by genetics, food, alcohol, illicit drugs, and the most controllable AND uncontrollable aspect of being human – emotions.

Love can certainly be distracting, and so can lust.

Fear is an incredibly powerful emotion that stunts us all from time to time.

Happiness always seems fleeting, but never less, we seek it daily.

All of these emotions are powerful, but what’s the number one emotion that wastes the most of your time?

Hate. Hate is your #1 time-waster + potential-destroyer.

Thanks to the interconnected nature of our world today, hate for certain races, religions, sexual orientations, and personal choices have spread like wildfire (for lack of a better analogy).

All of that hate for others comes from a source close to home – hatred for ourselves.

We are not born hating, we’re taught to hate, and in many ways, we’re taught to hate ourselves first and foremost.

Take it from me. I’m an expert.

If they existed, I would have multiple Master’s degrees in self-hatred.

To be clear, that doesn’t make me “good” or “better” at hating myself – I simply have a lot of experience. I don’t recommend it.

Somewhere along the way (i.e. from school, family, and society) I picked up that the only thing interesting about me was what I did, or what I accomplished.

Even in middle school, I found myself saying, “Dammit Victoria, fucking do something. You can do better than this. Let’s try basketball – you’re tall, you can do it. Keep going. Keep finding something else to impress people with. If you’re not doing, you’re dying.”

Would you ever talk to your best friend that way? Of course not! I bet you talk to yourself that way sometimes too, though.

Your number one influence is the voice in our head, and that voice is usually an asshole, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

You don’t have to hate yourself.

You don’t have to hate others.

Hate is a learned behavior. Hate is a choice.

Using hate to mask your fear is the ultimate definition of being a coward.

You were not put on this blue-and-green planet, hurtling through space, living and breathing the same atoms that were created at the Big Bang, to waste time being a coward.

We must choose between Greatness or Gridlock, Vision or Vengeance. – C Magazine

Hate, both for others and for yourself, is crippling gridlock instead of progress toward greatness.

It’s a focus on vengeance instead of vision.

Hatred forces you to spend more time looking at others, instead of looking inward at yourself and asking, “Who am I and what do I need? What do I want with this life that is ticking away?”

I recently read a great fiction book that was translated from Japanese to English.

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa and Translated by Philip Gabriel is the story of a young man named Satoru and a stray cat he befriends named Nana (“Seven” in Japanese).

You experience the story from both of their perspectives – a fascinating way to tell a story, to say the least.

While it’s a bittersweet story, it wonderfully highlights the beauty of the human-animal relationship, along with embracing your own unique journey.

You can’t embrace your human journey with hatred as your focus – it only leads to a wasted life.

The more we remove ourselves from our bubble of beliefs and assumptions, the more we see that we’re all the same in many ways: wants, needs, hopes, dreams, families, friends, fears, and curiosities.

Depending on the way those different elements are combined, you’ve got every person on the planet.

We all have brains. We all have skeletons. We’re all having a human experience, but hatred is optional.

Look at me preaching here, even though I still harbor some self-hatred. 

That’s OK, you might still have some self-hatred as well. That’s natural. It’s what we choose to do with it that matters. 

Do you invite your self-hatred to the table? Do you let it talk? If not, I invite you to give a try.

Let your self-hatred have it’s say … then talk back. Stand up for yourself.

Remind your self-hatred that it has been heard, but this time, you got this. You’re smart and you’ll be OK.

Hatred that is ignored only flourishes – it only leads to more gridlock, more vengeance. 

Let your hatred speak in your head, then remind it of the way your world actually works. You are in control.

Your hatred can and will shrink over time – it will run out of steam long before you do.

Your self-hatred and hatred for others only has power if you give it power.

If it were up to me, I’d like to see you do less hating and more living. Care to give it a try?

Photo by Andre Hunter on Unsplash

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